Friday, February 27, 2009

Love Dare - Day 9

Day 9 – Love makes good impressions

This chapter is about your greeting! How do you greet your spouse when you encounter them throughout the day? The chapter asks the question “If you are nice and polite to other people, doesn’t your spouse deserve the same? Times ten?” The author talks about how this is probably not something you think much about. “Here’s something else you probably don’t stop to consider – the difference it would make in your spouses day if everything about you expressed the fact that you were really, really glad to see them.”

Today’s Dare - Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

Love Dare - Day 8

Day 8 – Love is not jealous

This chapter talks about jealousy of your spouse’s successes. One statement I underlined is “If selfishness rules, any good thing happening to only one of you can be a catalyst for envy rather than congratulations.” Another is “he sees her as completing him, not competing with him.”

Today’s Dare – Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she has recently enjoyed.

I didn’t think I had a problem with yesterday’s Jealousy topic. I felt like I have never been jealous of my husband’s successes. Where this is true I may have never been jealous of his success, I have been jealous of his freedom. I am a full time stay at home mom. My husband works very hard and lots of hours so needless to say when he is off work he would still like to have some time to himself, just about the time I would love a break as well. I have struggled in this area in the past but have worked hard to get some alone time when I can in order to fend off any jealousy that could result in me saying negative things and hurting my husband. I also find that the things he does in his personal time I am not so interested in. So I focused today on showing some interest in one of those things.

Day 7 - Love Dare

I think I did Day 6 a little different than it read. I listed areas where I have to be cautious to not react negatively. I think it was asking for you to list areas where you can relieve stress from your life to allow for the things that may cause you to become irritable. I can make that list also. Although on the day I did this I completely bombed at not reacting negatively I have my list and will try to re-read it often as well as the list of areas to relieve stress. One way I try to relieve stress is to get some time alone, even if it is only once per week. My husband is very encouraging in this area. Today a friend and I were planning to meet and we didn’t so I took advantage of that and got away for an hour alone. It definitely is helpful to me. It gives me a new perspective on my day!

Day 7 – Love believes the Best

This section talks about the “Appreciation Room” and the “Depreciation Room”. To me this was a good chapter. The author describes the Appreciation Room as where we list all the things we love about our spouse and the Depreciation Room as the place where unfortunately we list the things that bother us about our spouse. If we focus too long on the things in the Depreciation Room we tend to only see the negative. Even though the things in this room are true it is important not to dwell on them. “Love knows about the Depreciation Room but chooses not to live there.” Love focuses on the positive.

Today’s Dare – Get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with the negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each sheet. At some point during the remainder of the day pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Love Dare - Day 6

Yesterday’s dare wasn’t too hard. It is easy for me and Mike to discuss things. I did have to hold my tongue to not defend myself. The challenge will be trying to avoid doing these things. (ie. One thing that bothers my husband is my sneezes. They are loud and annoying to his ears. This is something I will have to try to be more aware of.)

Love Dare – Day 6
Day 6 – Love is not irritable
This section says “Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive”. I was surprised at this next statement “Some people have the motto “Never pass up an opportunity to get upset with your spouse” when something goes wrong they quickly take full advantage of it by expressing how hurt of frustrated they are” This section lists 2 key reasons that contribute to a person being irritable. Stress and Selfishness “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” Matthew 12:34. Being easily angered is an indicator that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is supposed to rule.

Love Dare for today: Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Love Dare - Day 5

Let me catch you up on how I have been doing with this Love Dare over the past few days. I have not been doing one dare a day. I have been getting behind and also making sure I accomplish the dare before I go on. Sometimes this has taken time. I also have been trying to keep up the previous dares. For example, being patient. It seems that my patience is very thin since I started this dare. But stay firm as you progress with the dares you are challenged in so many areas and I have been motivated to take it one day at a time and if I screw it up to keep trying. I think the main goal is to not give up!! My Husband is worth it!!

Day 5 – Love is not rude
In this section it describes rudeness as unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around. “Genuine Love minds its manners. Good manners express to your spouse “I value you enough to exercise some self-control around you. I want to be a person who’s a pleasure to be with.” The section lists three guiding principles when it comes to practicing etiquette in your marriage: “Guard the Golden Rule – Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated. No Double Standards – Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers. Honor Requests – Consider what your husband or wife already asked you to do or not do. If in doubt, then ask”

Love Dare for today: Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Love Dare - Day 4

I got busy over the weekend and fell behind. I am now catching up! For Day 3, I did not go out and buy anything super fancy for my husband. I have been doing daily notes and small gifts for him for the 14 days til Valentines Day. I gave him a special handmade card (Zeke and I made cards on Monday) and Raspberry Chocolate candy bar yesterday. This may not be expensive or anything but I believe it does show Mike I was thinking about him because I remembered recently that he bought Raspberry Chocolate candy.

Day 4 is Love is Thoughtful! This part of the book talks about how easy it is to be thoughtful in the beginning of the relationship but once you are married and living everyday with this person it could be easy to neglect them. (i paraphrased in my own words). "Love thinks!" I have felt like I am pretty thoughtful of my husband but lately with a 2 year old and a 7 month old I forget things and have neglected him more. There are a few things he has asked me to do several months ago that I haven't done. Also ironing his shirts is something I know I could do to be more thoughtful! Can you tell I dislike ironing??

Today's Dare - Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

This shouldn't be too hard. I am also still working on not saying anything negative. It seems that in the days since I started this Dare I have been more and more impatient. I seem to have so much on my mind and not being focused on Mike! I have been thinking about how this is going to change my way of life and thinking! One of the things stated in this chapter is "the fact that marriage has added another person to your universe does not change" and when you have children there are more people added to your universe. You are not alone anymore! This has been on my mind lately and I am learning that there are some things I am having to let go of. But that could be a whole other post!! Maybe later! gotta go focus on my hubby!!! :0)

Friday, February 6, 2009

Love Dare - Day 3

Well I have completed Day 2 of the Love Dare. I did very well today. Several times I did things that I knew my husband would like. I ironed his shirt this morning, made cookies and encouraged him to take his time coming home. This was a big deal because usually I am begging him to come home quickly!!!
Day 3 of the Love Dare is about Love is not Selfish. The book asks this question "Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but such high expectations for our mate? The answer is we are all selfish". This chapter encourages you to put the happiness of your spouse before your own happiness. "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. Philippians 2:3"

Day 3 - Love Dare: Whatever you put your time, energy and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today."


Thursday, February 5, 2009

Love Dare - Day 2

Tomorrow is Day 2 of the Love Dare. I did not do very well today. I did not feel well and was very tired so therefore had a couple of moments where I was not very patient. I will try again tomorrow. The reading for day 2 is about Kindness. "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you" Ephesians 4:32. It says "kindness is love in action". It also says "if patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance". It breaks kindness down into 4 core ingredients: Gentleness, Helpfullness, Willingness, and Initiative. I like how it says that "kindness graces a wife with the ability to serve her husband without worrying about her rights".

The Love Dare for Tomorrow is - In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

I am not sure what act of kindness I will do. I am thinking about either ironing his clothes (I hate to iron and my husband knows this) he would be very surprised if I iron his clothes without him asking me to. I may also bake him something with butterscotch chips in it. He really likes that! I will also have to practice patience and not say anything negative again tomorrow! Hopefully I will feel better!


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Love Dare - 40 Day Challange

I have started reading the book "the Love Dare" by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. This is the book that is featured in the movie Fireproof. My husband and I watched this movie last week and ever since I have been wanting to get this book and do the Love Dare! I am always up for ways to serve and love my husband better! I checked the library for the book and there were 10 people ahead of me waiting for the ONE copy that is available at our library. It would be a LONG time before I got it there. I went today to another library and there is one person ahead of me there. So it would be about a month before I can get the book. My mom asked me which book I was looking for and would you believe she had that book in her car! I drove on over and got it from her today and began the LOVE DARE! Actually I start tomorrow. I read Day One. It is about Patience. The book says that "Love is built on two pillars "Patience and Kindness" It says that "when you choose to be patient you respond in a positive way to a negative situation." Proverbs 14:29 says "He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly". It also says that "Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human."

The first Love Dare is "For the next day, Resolve to demonstrate Patience and to say nothing Negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret."

SO, for tomorrow, I will resolve to be patient with my husband and not to say anything negative. I will let you know tomorrow how I do and I will post the next Dare!!!

Valentine's Day for my Hubby

I read on another blog, about a wife who celebrates the 14 days til Valentines' Day by giving her husband a special treat each day leading up to Valentines Day. I thought this was such a fun idea so I am going to do the same for my hubby! I got behind and gave him the first 4 days in one. I went to Market Street today with my mom and got a few treats. And I began writing 4 notes on index cards (I did 4 to catch up, after today I will only do one per day). As I was writing them out I decided that each day I would write a reason why I love him and choose one attribute or one thing I really like about him to focus on. I put the cards with a Reeses Candy on his side of the bed. He came in earlier and hasn't noticed! I can't wait to do this each day! Then on Valentines Day I will probably try to cook a nice dinner and have the kids in bed so that we can have some time alone that evening!

What kinds of things have you done for your husband on Valentines Day??

Monday, February 2, 2009

Menu Plan Monday

Here is my menu for this week!

Monday - Salmon, rice, spinach and broccoli
Tuesday - Meatless Spinach Lasagna
Wednesday - Turkey Chili Dogs (turkey chili (23cents a can) and turkey hot dogs(1.29per pack)
Thursday - Leftovers
Friday - Sweet and Sour Turkey Smoked Sausage with zuccini, served over rice
Saturday - Stuffed Bell Peppers (

I am trying to use less pork and beef. My husband enjoys it but his tummy doesn't take it too well. If anyone has any meatless recipes, I would love to hear about them!!

I Teddy

ITeddy is a cool toy that my little boy got for his birthday. My "other mother", Sonya got it for him. It plays music, shows videos, has games and photos. It already has some videos and photos but you can download your own. We downloaded some music of my niece, Delia singing. Zeke loves Delia. He calls her "YaYa". He can sit for a long time just listening to her sing. Great for me when I need a little time to get things done or to myself.

I checked this out on the Target website and it looks like they are on clearence for about $54. I haven't seen them in our Target store. Definately worth the cost, in my opinion.
I don't have a picture right now, but I will take one!

to long since last post

It has been forever since my last post. I have so much to say. Stay tuned for lots of new info that has been in my brain. Also my weekly menu this week.